It’s It’s It’s

poetry

It’s the hesitation in my skull
Pulsing like the crickets outside my window
As I lay wide awake counting the stucco on the ceiling
Eye’s opening, closing, rolling, tearing, squinting.
Repeating the words, relax, As the birds begin to chirp
But nothing works, so I lay awake until I lay asleep

It’s the disconnection in my eyes
As I stare at his picture in the back of my mind
Only a stomach full of whiskey can help revert my view
But just until the morning
Then there he is, hand in hand with my hangover

It’s the feel of my protruding ribs as I pull my shirt over my head
While the mirror breathes in every insecurity only to spit it right back in my face
So I spin around and around like a beat up model begging for satisfaction
But the only one in the crowd is me

It’s the deceiving smile I put on to avoid confrontation
Because i’ve heard every hallmark, bullshit quote in the book
But I’ll pretend to deal into their empty bluff
Until this card game is over and his picture appears again

It’s the sweat that forms beneath this mask i wear
Constantly afraid the decorations might fall off
Fall from this mask I’ve spent endless nights creating
But it’s better than leaving my skin bare

Trust is for people who believe the world is a good place

Bucket

perspective

A bucket. The only metaphorical way that helps me understand the growth of a person. A bucket starts off empty and clean. Eventually the bucket will be filled, maybe slowly, maybe quickly. constantly filled with different liquids or solids. Most of the time it can leave debris from its past, overlapping other substances or mixing together. Over time this bucket will ware out and become effective on how well it works.

A baby. Born into confusion with pure innocents and an empty bucket. Growing up you get yourself -or get thrown- into situations that effect the way you perceive and deal with things. These types of experiences leave its remains that eventually start building up. Everyone grows up getting filled to the rim with these incidents that haunts their every action, sometimes influencing it on others. So we carry around these buckets, straining our backs to avoid building the strength to just empty them. Some ignore it, let it eat away at their mind without even realizing the damage its doing.The only problem is, we cant go out and buy a new bucket, the most we can do is free ourselves from the heavy load or throw a lid on it.

Put your phone down after reading this

poetry

The accuracy with life’s expectancy is fading away with every life you see
The things you see on your tv are all propaganda and imaginary
What we need to see is the truth of technology and our deteriorating creativity
Because life will never live up to be what the media is trying to force feed
The only reason kids will ever step on the grass and leaves is because they lost track from staring at their hypnotizing screen
The only reason a teen may go out to eat is to post a picture to gain likes for all the rest to see
And soon these teens will be older and see that their children’s childhood will be replaced with the constant need
To build their confidence by staring into a glass screen that will predict if they will be accepted into society
Yes I’m contradicting because I am a product of this scheme
But now I know what to blame when my child feels to incompetent to just be.