cigarette smoke

poetry

I can’t take the silence

Whether it be sparks burning out in a conversation meant for 2, or the weight of anticipation pushing my face closer to their feet. All while I battle with the mischevious monster which happens to go by the name of Anxiety.

I can’t take the silence. The type, not even cigarette smoke can fill. All we can do is throw meaningless words that will only indent the fading clouds but never the mind.

So I talk and I talk because I’m scared if I stop, my heart may just beat out of my chest-
and on their shoes…

I can’t take the silence, but everyone else can. And the eyes that surround me, they scare. physical symptoms convincing you that their judgment is towering over you. as their shadow grows larger and more ferocious-
As the conversation continues

I can’t take the silence,
but everyone else can.

Wonder/Wander

poetry

I wonder if he knows
he is the reason why my eye twitches-
every time honesty is put on a pedestal

My eyes trail the words “trust me” as they float from his mouth
into the air- only to make its way to the open window
and jump to its death

Cowardice like the man who spoke them.

I wonder if he knows
he is the reason my natural instinct is to always be alert
Like a police officer beckoning that seatbelt to be undone
or a server waiting for the cheap family of 8 to leave

Rather than roasting under the hot spell of love
I search for shadows attached to his heels
to prove my deepest anxieties were true

I wonder if he knows
he is the reason my feet ache
From always being on my tippy toes
so that I am never looked down at again
because I’d rather my toes ache
instead of my neck

I wonder if he knows
Just like the spider that bit spiderman
A superpower rooted from my wounds
and I am thankful, because without it
I’d probably have nothing to write about.

Leave It Naked

poetry

We are all cruel.
Don’t dress up the truth,
Leave it bare, naked and wet.
Just like us tonight baby.
Tangled together with our insecurities reflecting off the light.
Perspiration forming above our eyebrows, professing our intimacy.
Don’t wipe it off baby.
I want to watch you in your most vulnerable,
Watch you undress yourself with hesitation and doubt.
Let you guide me towards each flaw for me to delicately kiss,
Because that’s what I find most intriguing about you.
The parts of you that take the longest to reveal to me.
I want the truth naked,
Just like us baby.
I want you to recite everything you hate about yourself,
So that I can prove to you that there is nothing to hate.
I will brush my lips atop every inch of your skin,
And watch you cringe as goosebumps form when I reach your insecurities.
I will skim my fingertips into the crevice of your scars,
To show affection to even the areas that hurt the most.
I want the truth wet,
Just like us baby.
As my skin strokes yours,
I can feel us blend and mould,
Like one body of water, following the waves of our affection.
Diving into each other,
Without a single thought of what may lye beneath the surface
Forgetting the demons, storms and pollution.
You’ll love yourself baby,
As long as I love you.
Our tortured sleeves will no longer hide the lies carved into our skin.
Flaunt it baby.

Art is in everything

perspective

When people think of art, they visualize paintings and sculptures. What most don’t realize is that there is so much more to the word “art”. If you perceive things with such beauty and originality, everything you look at, listen to or even taste is a work of art: the roots of a tree, the rising smoke from a cigarette, our chromosomes magnified, the curves and wrinkles at the edge of a smile, the clouds formation behind the sun, a simple guitar riff. These conventional normalities can be much more appreciated with a different perspective, which is the main reason creativity is such a big aspect in some lives. it is the gift of a mentality that believes life is so much more beautiful then what the accustomed eye can grasp. Even for the aspiring artists -whether it is a painter, writer,musician- all the best works of art come from inspiration; that emotional connection from the simplest of things that can root out a series of ideas. Our mentality is what divides us as humans, but to me, all the happiest people have one similarity. We all have come to the realization that there is art in everything.